Soul Searching
by Psycho-Stories-Unlimited
Summary: "What good am I to you now maka? because nothing could have prepared me for the horrible night ahead." (Soul POV)
1. Dead

Dead….

The word echoed around the room,

Silence… then my world fades out…

Slowly becoming aware again, they haven't moved her yet.

Blood… so much of it… It could be a joke… but the odd angle of her head is enough to convince me otherwise.

Why wasn't I here?

Why couldn't I help her?

She looks so small…

_Why?_

I hear voices now, trying to talk to me, asking me questions.

"Where were you when this happened?" someone asks.

The question is only that. A question. But it echoes in my mind like an accusation.

Where were you? Why weren't you here to fight with her? _What good are you too her now little weapon?_

They lift her… take her away…

I move to follow but I feel a firm hand on my shoulder.

Sid Kun...

He says I have to be taken in for questions.

Where were you? What were you doing?

What happened before you left?

Who would come after Maka?

I answer as best I can.

This is so not cool, these questions. Pointless.

But they're the only way they can start looking for her killer.

"Maka's dead… "

We're all standing on the street outside of our apartment building. There are still a few hours left till dawn.

Silence again.

Tsubaki's eyes fill with tears. I try not to look at her too long.

Kid looks… dare I say it. Grim. It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.

Even BlackStar is silent, it looks like he's been shot and hasn't registered the pain yet.

What must I look like right now?

Before anyone can say anything, something collides with my back and I feel a blade pressed against my neck.

"Tell me why I shouldn't slit your worthless throat." says a voice. "I'll see you pay for what you did to my daughter!"

"Are you crazy old man?" I scream "don't you see that-"

"No. He doesn't see" says another voice coming behind both of us. "Spirit… let him go"

I don't dare move as I feel the blade press harder into my throat then I feel the grip loosen and I whirl around to stare daggers at my attacker.

Maka's father looked even worse than any of us. He was wearing an old T-Shirt and sweats, and his face looked haggard, while behind him stands Dr. Stein, his glasses glinting in the light of the streetlamp.

"Do you have any leads yet?" Kid asks, stepping forward.

"It's too early to say yet." Dr. Stein says. "But we will let you know once we have more information. Nygus is taking a look at Maka as we speak. Perhaps Maka chan's soul left a strong enough impression to be able to give us a better idea of who the killer might be.

"When I find out who did this…" BlackStar cracked his knuckles.

There was none of the usual cockiness in the way he said it; just a cold determination and the glint of steel in his eyes.

Kid's face also hardened "be sure to let us know." He said, and abruptly walks away.

"Come on Tsubaki" says BlackStar, and they walk away as well.

The two adults look after the other two, and then back down at me.

I also turn sharply,

I didn't want their pity. I didn't want their accusations, and I sure as hell wasn't about to sit back and do nothing.

"Soul" Stein starts

I cut him off.

"I will find them…" I say,

And I feel my nails biting deep into my palms, leaving marks.

"No matter what…"

And I walk ahead into the darkness.


	2. Earlier

**Authors Note: Hay, sorry for the horribly short first chapter, hopefully this second chapter will be a little more satisfying **

I kept walking, my brain boiling.

As badly as I want to shriek my frustration to the world, I don't have time.

There's work to be done.

I don't know how long I've been walking but it must have been a few hours at least because I can see the faintest line of color streaking the horizon.

I think about going back to the apartment…

No…

Not yet.

I walk through a small park. The thick branches of the trees and the heavy mist make block out the light of moon and stars and make it seem much darker.

"Come on soul" whispers a sly voice in my head. "You can't just stand around doing nothing."

"You want to get back at the ones who did this to your meister don't you? All you have to do is let me help you."

"Shut up" I growl under my breath.

"Stupid kid" the voice growls back "You're no use without a meister! You need me!"

I ignore the voice and keep walking.

I hear something in the darkness. It sounds like something small; an animal that's hurt beyond help. I think of going to take a look… maybe end it quickly for the poor thing…

Then the horrible scene from the apartment flashes through my mind and I shudder.

I decide to take a look anyway and walk through a clump of bushes to a small clearing.

It was not an animal that lay there, but a boy. He lay on the floor, crumpled, and for a second I thought he was dead too. But he raised his head, and I could see that he was only crying.

Man this is so not cool…. I'm not used to this kind of stuff. Maka was better at this than I am.

The kid is dressed in something that looks like a black dress, his eyes and hair are a pale purple color, he almost looks like a corps but corpses are supposed to look peaceful; they aren't supposed to have eyes that are red and puffy or a steady stream of snot running out of their nose.

"Chrona?" I ask.

"SHE'S DEAD!" he howled

Wow… news travels fast around here.

"h…how did it happen?" he asks eventually.

I shake my head… I don't want to remember what she looked like… sprawled on the floor of the apartment.

"Broken neck…" I say "and lot of blood… a big slash… "

I don't continue Chrona looks like he's gonna pass out. Then his face changes and he stands up. Who did this? He asks quietly, He went from nervous wreck to cold and calculating in a second… creepy.

"We don't know yet" I say

"I will find them" says chrona simply

"No you won't!" says a muffled voice and suddenly chrona's body jerks, a bubbling black glob boils out of his back, and it resolves itself into a huge creatcher with bulging white eyes and muscles rippling all along its arms.

The creatcher grabs chrona by the ears and starts jerking his head around in different directions. "There's no way a little pipsqueak like you is gonna find whoever killed that girl so you should just stop being stupid and take us home!"

"R- Ragnarock! Stop!" Chrona squeaks as he tries to pry Ragnarock loose. That's pretty hard to do if you're fused together.

I sort of had to agree with the weapon though. The kid might be strong because of his black blood, but I doubted he'd be much help in something like this.

"Listen Chrona," I said, "I don't know what you can do to help Maka yet, but I'll tell you if I find anything."

I don't know if he heard me because Ragnarok now had his finger stuffed in Chrona's ear.

I kept walking, this was getting me nowhere. I needed somewhere quiet where I could think, plan, and get back at the bastards that did this to my meister.

I thought about the night before.

"Where were you?" the question was repeated by everyone.

Hell, I didn't have an answer, not a good one anyway.

I was tired of being stuck in the apartment. Maka kept bothering me about studying for some random test or other, just the usual crap. I told her I was going out to get some air, she just scowled at me and told me how irresponsible I was being, yada yada yada.

I went out, I thought of maybe going over to crash at BlackStar's so I wouldn't have to get dirty looks and annoying lectures all night. Me and BlackStar would just laugh about it and just hang.

It was late when I left the apartment, and BlackStar lived all way across Death City. I took my bike, but still, by the time I got there, it was way dark. I left by bike parked in the alley next to BlackStar's place and I could see a bunch of mice with glowing red eyes staring at me from the shadows. I ignored them and went up to BlackStar's place.

I knocked on the door and Tsubaki answered.

"Oh, hi Soul," she said and let me in

I walked with her into the living room and saw BlackStar holding himself up with two fingers of one hand, while in the other he held a book, his face screwed up in concentration.

He looked up and saw me, then dropped back down to the ground.

"Hay 'a Soul" he said, "Come here to watch me ace this test?"

I just stared at him. "Seriously?"

Tsubaki smiled at BlackStar. "Yup" she said, "he's been doing this for three days now. How about you Soul? I know Maka Chan has been studying pretty hard too."

I shrugged, thinking about Maka back in the apartment.

Tsubaki asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink, but I said no. "Just wanted to stop by on my way back" I said, I didn't want to interrupt their studying. Personally I thought it was a lost cause as far as BlackStar was concerned, he usually scored bottom of the class at anything that didn't involve beating people up.

I left their place and walked back to my motorcycle that was still parked outside. The mice had scurried away as I walked into the alley. The bike roared to life and I wound my way back to the apartment.

I thought about apologizing to Maka, maybe even do a page or two of the stupid homework. I rode back in silence. Then walked back up to the apartment and opened the door.

There was nothing to warn me of the blood-drenched night ahead.


	3. No Time

**Authors Note: Ok! Next chapter yay! I am tiredly happy right now. Please leave reviews, even if you hated it so far. I just need to know, do readers usually like nice long chapters or do they like their stories in happy little bite sized chunks? It would really help me not just with this story but with future ones as well. **

**Thanks!~**

Sitting in the darkness… looking for answers, but not finding any.

"Come now Soul stop wasting your time with these questions!" hisses a voice in my head, "I can take away your fear and your reservations, I can give you the power to find them, all you have to do is give in…"

I've heard this shtick before; I don't respond, and I try not to listen.

"You want to catch them? You want to avenge your little meister?" the voice continued.

"You want to make them _pay_ don't you? Well? Don't you?" The little demon whispered with a sick glee. I could almost see the hungry look in his eyes. He wanted me to give up my sanity and my soul in exchange for power. I wasn't ready to do that yet; Maka would never forgive me. But damn, the little bastard was right, I wanted to hit something, tare someone apart, I wanted to-

The images ran through my head; horrible but oddly satisfying; and why the hell not? Why shouldn't I use this power for myself! No one could get in my way, I wouldn't have to answer to anyone. I could help find the people, who killed Maka, become a Death Scythe on my own and then, then…

I heard the demon chuckle.

That was his trap, if I took his deal now there wouldn't be enough of me left to do anything but destroy. And that's what the demon wanted. Maka wasn't here anymore, this time; I had to stand in the shadows alone.

The sun was completely up now; and in all that time I'd managed to complete amazing amounts of nothing. I sighed, then, for lack of anything better to do, I went to up to the DWMA to see if I could actually learn something there for once.

Maybe Stein or Kid had some news, or maybe they were just as in the dark as I am.

I wasn't planning on going to class though, I didn't know how fast the news traveled but I knew I didn't want to spend the whole school day being stared at. That was just uncool. I sat on the ledge looking out over Death City, letting some of the exhaustion of last night catch up to me. I let my shoulders slump and just looked out over the edge.

"Soul." Said a voice behind me, and I looked up to see kid striding toward me. He looked like he hadn't really gotten much sleep either. His two partners, Liz and Patty trailed behind him, looking as serious as kid. "We need to talk."

"This is what we know so far," he said

When it all came down to wasn't much, apparently, someone came to the apartment, there was a struggle but there was nothing stolen. It sounded straight forward at first, but there were some missing pieces. First of all, none of the neighbors heard anything which was pretty surprising. Makas hand to hand was nothing to brag about, but she sure as hell would make enough noise to let anyone know she was in trouble.

Second, how did the person get in? It would have had to be someone we knew for her to just let them in, but as far as I knew, everyone had a story for last night.

Lastly, even though they said nothing was stolen, I felt like something was missing, not physically, it was something deeper. It was right on the edge of my thoughts but I lost it before I could remember it completely. It was like my mind was floating in thick sludge. I was probably just tired.

"One more thing." Said Kid, "Nygus Sensei would like to see you. She's already finished her examination and has some questions for you." He looked serious as he said it.

"What is it?" I asked. Not liking the look on Kid's face.

Kid looked slightly uncomfortable.

"We've already been in to see. It's… It's pretty bad…" I could hear a small sob come from one of the girls standing behind kid. I couldn't deal with that.

Trust me I've seen my share of horrible things, and I bet those two chicks were no little pansies either. Kid had told me that they had grown up on some of the toughest streets imaginable. It must have been pretty bad to make them act like this.

The picture of what I had seen last night came up vividly in my mind and I shuddered.

BlackStar and Tsubaki had apparently seen our little group because they had wondered over too. Tsubaki had the same expression on her face as Liz and Patty.

Did I mention I couldn't deal with this kind of stuff?

Suddenly her expression hardened. "Has he seen yet?" Tsubaki asked suddenly.

"Eh, no." said kid, "we were just about to-"

"Alright then" said Tsubaki and she turned to me. "Soul, the minute you're done, you're coming straight home with us."

"What?" I said, completely thrown off, the hell was this chick talking about? "I have to find Makas killer! I didn't have time for this!"

"Damn it soul!" Tsubaki actually snapped. "How long has it been since you slept? Since you've eaten? You look like you're going to drop at any moment. You're not going to help Maka by killing yourself!"

At that moment she looked as stubborn as BlackStar. I stared up at her in shock, then I got mad.

Come again? Who did this chick think she was talking to anyway? I wasn't about to be bossed around by some second rate weapon. I had to find them. I couldn't just lie around doing nothing!

"You don't know what you're talking about." I said harshly, "You don't know! NONE OF YOU! Maka's dead because of me! I don't have time to be bossed around by some half- assed weapons and their meisters!"

Before I could say anything else, I was being dragged up by my collar, with BlackStar's face about an inch from mine.

"Listen Soul," he said, giving me a shake and glaring fiercely. "If there's anyone here who's half-assed it's you! The only reason I don't kick your ass right here and now is because Tsubaki's offered to help you! Now stop being a little princess and GET OVER YOURSELF!"

_This from the guy who says he wants to surpass the gods… _

I glared right back at him for a moment, then sighed and went limp. BlackStar put me down and I grinned tiredly, he was right after all; I was the one being an idiot. I couldn't do anything useful in this state. I had to do this one more thing. Then I could rest, if not for my own sake, at least for hers.


	4. 4 You're Mad

**Authors Note: Ok, now it's been a little while, I just needed to let the story simmer in my mind for a little while longer. No biggie. But now it's time to get back to work! **

We walked up to the school and went inside; all of the hallways were thankfully empty. Everyone was silent, and all of our footsteps sounded kind of eerie echoing in the darkness. Did Maka die in the darkness? Or did she let the light blind her? Her trust and ability to believe in others was one of the things that made her strong. But was it also that trust that got her killed?

Stop It, thoughts like those could make me paranoid really fast. I kept walking, hearing everyone's footsteps behind me, and I was inwardly glad that they were there too. If I couldn't trust them, than whom _could_ I trust?

I walked a little behind the group and I felt Tsubaki slow down a little to walk next to me. I sighed and looked up at her. "I'm sorry" I said. She put a hand on my shoulder. "It's alright" she said, "Friends are there to help each other. No matter how far you fall into the madness or despair, we're always here to pull you back." I bowed my head, remembering when I had made a promise like that once before.

We reached a door that looked much like the others, only a man was standing in front of it. Makas father, with one of his arms turned into a wicked black blade. He didn't look like some clumsy excuse for a father at that point; he really _did _look like one of deaths weapons. He stared coldly at all of us. But he had the coldest stare saved for me. I stared right back, daring him to say something. I didn't like being made to feel useless or guilty. That made me mad, and I was about ready to pick a fight with anyone at this point, Death Scythe or not.

I tried to walk past him, but the blade sliced the air right in front of me and I stepped back. "So…" he said. His expression hadn't changed in the slightest. "You've finally decided to see what you've done to her."

It was good knowing that there were friends who had my back but still, some of my anger was starting to boil over and I snapped. "I thought we already went through this old man! I would've never done anything like this to Maka! She was my meister! And unlike YOU I never did anything to hurt her! I would NEVER abandon her!"

Death Scythe looked like I had just sunk a blade into his guts and twisted. "You little bastard." He hissed through his teeth, "It doesn't matter what you may have done, you obviously never cared about her because YOU STILL LET HER DIE!"

Now it was my turn to feel my stomach drop, Stab. Twist.

I stepped forward, letting energy tingle along my left arm and watching the torchlight glint off a red and black blade. Makas father stepped forward, raising his own blade; he was obviously as eager for a fight as I was.

"That's enough," said a voice from the darkness, and Dr. Stein stepped from the shadows. "What is this? Soul, you dare disrespect your meister by fighting meaninglessly? Spirit, you dare disrespect your daughter by fighting someone who has sworn himself as her partner? Both of you are fools, save your energy for something useful."

We glared at each other for another couple of seconds and then both lowered our blades.

"Now then" Dr. Stein said. "Shall we get down to business?" He opened the door and I hesitated before going any farther. I didn't want to see it again, I wasn't ready, and it just wasn't cool...

"_Pathetic." _sneered a voice in my head, "Cool? Really? What's wrong with you Evans? I knew you were weak, but not _that_ weak." The demon chuckled mockingly

I wanted to respond angrily but I felt everyone's eyes on my back, so I took a deep breath and I walked in.

There was no blood, no violence, nothing. Just an empty stone-walled room with a table at its center; a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a still form covered in a white cloth. I could only stop and stare.

I heard the door shut behind me; I thought the others would come in too, but only stein stood near the door. Most of his face was in shadow except where the lights glinted off his glasses. It was kind of creepy.

"Sad, isn't It?" said Stein dispassionately. He could have been talking about one of the animals he would have us dissect in class. "How fragile we are as humans…" He started twisting the screw on his head, it made a weird ticking sound as he turned it. He walked slowly around the room as he kept talking.

"Think about it." He said. "One slash of a blade, a well-placed bullet, a heavy impact, _A SINGLE GERM _could be enough to end a human life." He stopped behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Tell me soul… how do you think _THIS _life came to an end?" The steady ticking stopped with a sharp CLICK of the knob, like a lock falling into place.

I only stared at the still form. Then turned back to face Stein. "I- I don't know…"

Stein smiled almost kindly at my answer. "There are many things we don't know Soul. But there are many ways to find out."

I turned back to face the table, and took a few more dazed steps forward until I was beside the still form.

Stein moved to the other side of the table facing me. His stare was calculating but with something creepy mixed in. Like a spider looking at a juicy fly. "You could start by moving the things that are in your way. Perhaps that sheet? You could tell a lot by the marks on the surface. Me? I prefer to dig deeper; usually through dissection, to get into the very roots of the question. How about it soul? Shall I try to dig to find the answers of this mystery?"

It took a little bit for Stein's words to penetrate my brain, and my eyes widened as I figured out what this madman was trying to tell me.

_HE WANTED TO DISCECT HER! _

"You're mad." I said hoarsely

"Indeed," he said and smiled.

**Authors note: Yeah Yeah, I Know, a little over dramatic, BUT I JUST COULDN'T HELP IT! Stein deserves some screen time too don't ya know! And yeah I know it's just more of these little Tid-Bit chapters but I thought that this would be enough creepiness for one night. **

**(you know I bet the story could kinda just end here! Hee hee) **


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